I have a brand-new web serial that’s sure to be blowing your universe the heck up: Cultivine.

I wrote the entire thing as part of a Vine Challenge among authors on Royal Road: Write as many words as possible in 24 hours, and center the story around vines. I wrote Cultivine in two sessions, and got about 16,000 words each time.

It’s really bad. Phenomenally terrible in every way. And if you enjoy my more, um, performatively lazy fiction, you will LOVE this one.

Cultivine is a xianxia cultivation progression fantasy based on Chinese web novels, with one twist: I’ve never read a Chinese web novel in my life. Everything in this story is based on half-informed guesses and assumptions taken from Western web novels.

Plus, there’s Vine Waifus. Yes, you heard that right. Sentient vines come to life, and they look like hot anime girls.

The Jolly Green Giant cameos, and one character quotes the entirety of the Knuckles Rap at one point just to annoy another character.

So, the real question becomes, what in vine’s name are you waiting for? Read Cultivine right this instant!

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